13. Moldova - My notes became markedly more drunken by this point, so the descriptions will, in general, become briefer. All I can make out is that this was the Eurovision's 258th attempt to 'blend the traditional with the modern', that there were 'nice legs and boots', and something about 'Cassock dancing'. Can that be right? Well, it must not have made much of an impression. Rating: 2.5 euros.
14. Malta - As I think Terry Wogan said once, Malta, unlike some of the larger Eurovision countries, always try hard. The singer was not quite what I expected, with the figure of an opera diva, and the voice of an R&B diva. Either way, it was one of the better voices in the competition. Rating: 3.5 euros.
15. Estonia - The artist's name, 'Urban Symphony', gave me hope that we would hear something approximating The Verve. Riichard Ashcroft though never looked this good. The lead singer, with her beautiful, long, dark hair, was simply stunning, and the cellists behind her broke my heart. It made me want to move to Estonia as soon as possible, although perhaps it was not wise to inform my wife of that fact. Song: 3 euros. Eye candy: 5 euros.
16. Denmark - Ronan Keating had a hand in writing this song, and one of his doppelgangers was chosen to sing it. The rock band was a bit misleading, as the song was as wimpy as most of Boyzone's catalogue. The unnecessary high five between two of the band members made it that little bit more nauseating. Rating: 2 euros.
17. Germany - The Germany had the best band name to this point: 'Alex Swings, Oscar Sings', and possibly the best song name too: 'Miss Kiss Kiss Bang'. The lead singer camped it up for all it was worth, and just when you thought it couldn't any more kitsch, out pops Dita Von Teese, with her waistline that defies imaginiation. The song itself was rubbish, but the production was amazing. Rating: 4 euros.
18. Turkey - Too much flesh for flesh's sake, and compared to Estonia, quite classless. Lauren noted that the guy looked like he had been tied up in a carseat. Rating: 1.5 euros.
19. Albania - The weirdest entry by far. It included a fairy, two midgets for her to stand on, and a green man with discoball sparkles on his face. I still don't get it. Rating: 2 euros.
20. Norway - Inexplicably the favourite to win the competition, the Norwegian entry featured an elf with a fiddle, complete with his own band of Pan-like followers. Not the worst entry, but apart from the twin blondes, nothing startling. Rating: 3 euros.
21. Ukraine - I was wrong - this had an even better song title than Germany: 'Be My Valentine (Anti-Crisis Girl)'! It included mostly naked gladiators trapped like hamsters in turning wheels, and lights designed to induce an epilieptic seizure. Basically, it was the second weirdest entry. The singer gets extra points for her drum solo though. Rating: 2 euros.
22. Romania - Essentially a Dungeons 'n' Dragons wet dream, with a bunch of skinny women in reed-like dresses swaying before the dungeon master's throne. Otherwise, not particularly interesting. Rating: 2 euros.
23. United Kingdom - Boring, Lloyd-Webber rubbish. Rating: 1 euro.
24. Finland - Another top band name, 'Waldo's People', delivered an unusually upbeat song about homelessness. Really, only the burning rubbish bins give you a clue to this, otherwise it looks like a younger version of the Edge gone gangster. Rating: 1.5 euros.
25. Spain - I can't remember much about this entry. I do remember that I've forgotten my Spanish though. Rating: 2 euros.
1 comment:
Hello. And Bye.
Post a Comment