Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Wooden Finger Year in Music: Part Two


David Guetta/Akon’s ‘Sexy Bitch’ was a track that made me shiver in parts of my spine I didn’t know I had, and the line “I’m tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful” almost caused a complete vertebral meltdown. Firstly, that’s way too many syllables to fit into one line. Secondly, unless you’re sixty years old or a spelling bee contestant the word ‘disrespectful’ is about as anti-climatic as it gets. Thirdly, when you spend the rest of the song using words like ‘bitch’, ‘hoe’ and ‘booty’, then one wonders whether you really know what ‘disrespectful’ means or if someone at your pool party happened to bring along a thesaurus (yeah, I know, it’s meant to be ironic – I think – but it doesn’t work). All of these problems could have been solved with one simple substitution, “I’m tryna find the words to describe this girl but I’m an asshole.” Now that’s a worldwide smash…   


Is that lyric in Animal Collective’s ‘My Girls’ ‘I just want four walls and adobe slabs for my girls’ or ‘four walls and adobe slats for my girls’? Either way – what the hell?! Who can help us out here?

“adobe slabs refers to building a home from the ground up like way back in the day. basically stating that as father he's going to work hard in providing for his children.” – tonyjames, SongMeanings

“I assume that “adobe slats/slabs” is a part of a home that’s protective but exists in contrast to the four walls. This suggests it’s a roof. But as far as I can make out, roofing in adobe architecture doesn’t involve slats or slabs made of adobe; rather, it involves a wood or metal frame onto which adobe bricks are placed, which are then in turn sealed with adobe mortar.

Conclusion: Animal Collective failed Indigenous American Architecture 101.” – Dickdogfood, Idolator

“adobe slats’, it would appear, are a form of roof tile used fairly commonly in Portugal.” – Tim Miller, God Is In The TV

You know we're in a conundrum when not even Uncle Wiki can help us out ('adobe slabs' is mentioned on a page about Fort Verde State Historical Park, 'adobe slats' gets you nowhere). For what it's worth, it sounds to me like he is saying 'slats' - I'll take that guy's word they're used in Portugal.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

My Top 25 Highlights From Our Trip Around the USA

25. Dinosaurs I have heard of at the American Museum of Natural History
24. Smelly sealions at Pier 39, Fisherman’s Wharf
23. 826 Valencia – a tutorial centre run by McSweeney’s, fronted by a pirate store
22. Charlie the fluffy toy labrador from FAO Schwarz (and Joe the Pistons-supporting teddy from the NBA Store)
21. Football, baseball and Sam Adams at every bar
20. Finding t-shirts of a monkey with a magnum and a Star Wars Fab Four slogan (Luke & Leia & Han & Chewie) within two blocks of each other at the Haight
19. Finding a hat to fit my generously sized head at J.Crew near Rockefeller
18. Comedy at Gotham, two doors from our hotel in Chelsea
17. Reading SuperFreakonomics
16. Cheeseburger pizza (think a Big Mac, sliced-up and spread on a pizza base)
15. Central, Prospect and Golden Gate Parks
14. Getting to the top of the Empire State Building on a clear night without having to queue
13. Attending a Halloween party (and seeing somebody dressed as a Sudoku puzzle)
12. James Gandolfini shouting ‘F--- the hamster!’ in ‘God of Carnage’
11. Staying at the Hotel Chelsea
10. Reading Bill Simmons’ ‘The Book of Basketball’
9. The Day of the Dead parade in the Mission in SF
8. Dinner at Cafeteria on W17 St and Sixth Avenue – oddball menu but mind-blowingly awesome
7. The rollercoasters at Knott’s Berry Farm, particularly the Silver Bullet (high speed, lots of bends and loops, legs dangling), Montezuma’s Revenge (40 seconds, forwards and backwards around a large loop), and the Ghost Rider (terrifying wooden rickety death-trap)
6. Spending my birthday at the Blue Note listening to the Dizzy Gillespie All-Stars
5. Carving the pumpkin from hell
4. The Museum of Modern Art – Dali’s ‘The Persistence of Memory’, Warhol’s soup cans, Lichenstein’s ‘Drowning Girl’, Pollock’s ‘Full Fathom Five’, Van Gogh’s ‘Starry Night’, and a couple of dozen Picassos.
3. New York Knicks v Boston Celtics at Madison Square Garden (it was a pre-season match, but still…)
2. ‘The Beatles – Love’ by the Cirque du Soleil
1. The Golden Gate Bridge on a clear warm San Francisco afternoon