The "John Doe" Posts No. 5 - Gluttony: The Melbournian Beer Hierarchy

Feb 3, 2010

Group One: Beers that can not be surpassed

1. Obscure beer drunk in small bar overseas that no-one can ever prove/disprove what it tastes like

Group Two: Credibility gainers and conversation starters

2. Beers from Victorian microbreweries (preferably close to your home, so that you can claim local knowledge) – e.g. Mountain Goat, Grand Ridge, 3 Ravens
3. Imported beers that nobody else at your table has seen before tonight
4. Beers from interstate microbreweries (preferably regional), and lesser known Matilda Bay beers – e.g. Bohemian, Dogbolter

Group Three: Generally acceptable choices

5. Little Creatures (too well-known to be considered a microbrewery)
6. Imported beers that are major exports but which you wouldn’t see advertised here – e.g. Quilmes, Erdinger
7. More commonly known Matilda Bay beers – e.g. Redback, Fat Yak
8. More commonly known imported beers – e.g. Corona, Asahi, Hoegaarden
9. Coopers (yes, despite it being from South Australia)
10. Crown Lager
11. Cascade/James Boag’s

Group Four: Acceptable if only beer available or only beer available on tap

12. Heineken, Becks
13. Carlton Draught

Group Five: Drink at the peril of your beer-swilling credibility

14. Victoria Bitter
15. Melbourne Bitter
16. Foster’s
17. Toohey’s New, XXXX, West End, Emu.