The Alternative 2013 AFL Grand Final Entertainment

 

Next week, I’m attending my first AFL Grand Final in twenty years, and while I’m pretty jazzed that Hunters and Collectors will be playing, I wonder if there is a bit more that the AFL could do. Why not celebrate football’s biggest day through performances that recount this season’s highlights (or lowlights)? I’d happily skip some beers on Swan St before the game for this line-up.

Patrick Karnezis and the Yeos from the Brisbane Lions – ‘We’ve Gotta Get Out Of This Place’

Sample lyric: We’ve gotta get out of this place/If it’s the first thing we ever do/We’ve gotta get out of this place/Boys there’s a senior coach for me and you

D-Mar (Dustin Martin) – ‘Take On Me’

Sample lyric: Carr’s talking away/I don’t know what I’m to say/I’m signing anyway/I need another week of time though/Get on the plane/We’re still looking for 600k/Take on me

Peter Jackson, interim Melbourne CEO – (to the tune of the Kaiser Chiefs’ ‘Ruby’) ‘Roosy’

Sample lyrics: Could it be, could it be that you’re joking with me/And you can’t really be with the Dees?/Oh yippee, oh yippee, now you’re talking to me/Please don’t let it be wait and see/Roosy, Roosy, Roosy, Roosy

‘Slow’ Eddie McGuire – (to the tune to Meatloaf’s ‘You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth’) ‘How Did Those Words Come Out Of My Mouth?’

Sample lyric: How did those words come out of my mouth?/I must be able to blame it on Luke Darcy/Oh God those words came out of my mouth/What was I on/When I made that ‘joke’ ‘bout Goodes and King Kong?

The Greater Western Sydney football department – (to the tune of Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’) ‘Get Buddy’

Sample lyric: We want to win more games than one/We know that our list is too young/We’ve more cap space than the Suns/We’re all cashed up to get Buddy

The Essendon Football Club (or what’s left of them) – ‘The Drugs Don’t Work’

Sample lyric: Now the drugs don’t work/They just make you ninth/But we know we’ll see the eight again

Montagna & Jones from St. Kilda – ‘Short People’

Sample lyric: The original lyrics of Randy Newman’s song work just fine here.